It’s easy to have faith when everything is going well, when life seems to be giving us an easy time. It is much harder to have faith when you are facing challenges in your life, which is of course when you need to apply your faith most of all.
It is easy to be positive in when everything is going well, and much harder when challenges are thrown our way, but again, that is precisely when that positivity will have the highest impact and get us through.
Getting through the tough times
‘Tough times’ come to us all in one shape or another. Whether in the form of a change in circumstance, an illness, a loss or a goal that you want to achieve that isn’t quite happening in the way you would have liked or anticipated.
Deep within each of us is the ability to keep going. At times, we just know we can get through and ‘keep on keeping on’, other times we seek help to help us get through and reach those goals, whatever they be (a marathon, a target weight, a tricky time in our life), so that we can seek a more refined, more efficient way to approach the goal.
So why does it sometimes feel so hard?
Now this is easy to answer. It feels hard because of perspective and focus. If we focus on what we are finding hard, the threats and challenges in our lives, we can sometimes loose sight of the successes and strengths we have.
Take, for instance, a marathon. If a marathon runner focusses on how far 26.2 miles is at the start of a race, the chances are they will feel overwhelmed, or at least daunted (that’s a LONG way!). Whilst if that same runner focuses on the atmosphere at the start of the race, the people, the achievement that they feel just having reached the start line, then it is likely that their feelings would be totally different.
This is the important bit, so keep reading...
Those ‘feelings’ are far more important than they sound. Those two different ways of approaching the race, result in two different mind-sets, and in turn a different cocktail of natural chemicals in our bodies. Needless to say, the better version, and the one which will serve the runner best, is the second, more positive one. That runner will have a healthy dose of serotonin (the feel-good chemical in our body) along with a boost of adrenaline, which is helpful in the right quantities.
You can apply this thinking to infinite situations - take weight loss for instance, initially the end goal may seem a long way away, overwhelming and, at times, feel impossible when faced with situations that are difficult to manage (be that emotion-related eating habits or social situations that are difficult to manage). However, taking a sensible, rational look, breaking the goal into various smaller steps and keeping a positive mind-set, results in a disposition that is more likely to stick with it, despite any hiccups along the way. We know that weight loss is about long-term lifestyle changes (however big or small they may need to be) if we wish to reach, maintain and manage that goal. Mind-set not only greatly affects the success to which the goal is achieved, it also affects the ease of the path to reaching the goal (that’s a blog for another day perhaps).
Why stick with it when it gets tough?
What is the real prize at the end of all this? Personal development, character, resilience, strength, pride, change, confidence and of course happiness (but happiness is yet another blog to be written, as research suggests that we are only as happy as we let ourselves be…).
Recently, in the news I have been deeply moved, when Gareth Thomas decided to ‘go public’ with his HIV status. Watching his documentary it was clear what a huge challenge it was for him both emotionally and, as it happened, physically, due to the fact that his plan was to announce it ahead of completing one of the hardest challenges there are - the Iron Man (not least as he was a non-swimmer at the start of the process and it involved a chilly 2.4 mile sea swim to start!). The fact that Gareth felt forced into going ‘public’ is a conversation for another day, whatever the circumstances surrounding his announcement he was faced with what felt like a huge risk to him. The risk that the public may reject him, judging him against out of date misconceptions, and worse than that, the fear that they may hound and persecute him and his family in the way that the press had attempted. Throughout the documentary the emotion was palpable, but he stuck with it, he made a plan, had some help and support from some special people along the way and what he achieved, was incredible. He learned how to swim, first in a swim-tank, progressing to a swimming pool and then on to open water: 2.4 miles of it on race day! He trained hard to cycle 112miles and then in addition to all of that he ran 26.2 miles! The combination of the emotional and physical challenge must have been immense, but he achieved it, despite the journey and the setbacks faced.
It’s is important to remember that whilst we can not control what happens to us: the weather we get for the marathon we have been training for; the number of colleagues that are sitting in on a difficult meeting; the loss of a loved one or perhaps work, we can control our responses. The way we think, what we do and the way we move forward in light of these challenges is in our power.
How can clinical hypnotherapy help?
Hypnotherapy can help us move away from behaviours, habits or ways of thinking that limit us. I work with clients to give them an understanding of how our brains work, why we can react the way we do, and work collaboratively to build new ways of thinking, new ways of being that are beneficial to reaching that goal.
Your future self will look back on these times, the times that have felt difficult, for whatever reason that is, with pride, strength and with thanks, that you got out there and did it, knowing that it wasn’t easy, but it was necessary and it was worth it in the end.
