Self care is something that can easily drop off the radar at the best of times, and so in these unfamiliar times, it has never been more important to recognise that in order to give our best to others, we must also be doing something for ourselves. As well as prompting those who are ‘near and dear’ to us to look after themselves, we must be doing the same for ourselves.
It is all to easy to rush from one things to the next, focusing on the jobs that need to be done, the news that seems to be on constant feed though social media as well the news channels themselves, the needs of those around us (particularly of course if those around us make their needs heard loudly!).
Self-care: The practice of taking an active role in protecting one’s own well-being and happiness, in particular during periods of stress.
We find ourselves in the midst of a period of incredible change, the world that we live in is feeling unfamiliar and, for some, unsafe. Stresses of remote working, home schooling, finances, connectivity all add up. In addition, if you are a key worker or the family of a key worker, you are likely to have other concerns and worries too, you may also be required to work in new and unfamiliar ways, amongst teams that are already stretched and stressed.
So, amidst this, why is self-care so important?
Self care is even more important at times of uncertainty because it helps us manage our own ‘stress levels’ which in turn directly impacts upon our energy levels and our ability to cope and carry out our jobs.
During these times making self-care a habit, rather than a treat, enables us to manage stress and avoid burn-out.
Although we are aware of the many benefits of keeping fit, getting plenty of sleep, eating healthily and spending time resting (more on this later), at times of change and uncertainty these things can get pushed off the agenda, just when we need them most.
Unfortunately, as self-care drops further off the radar, our ability to focus and get things done becomes less efficient too - jobs can take longer to complete as thinking becomes ‘foggy’. We also have other demands on our time that perhaps we can not control such as children or other friends and relatives that need us. And so sometimes we perhaps don’t look after ourselves as well as we should.
What do we need to stay productive? Take time or make time for self care.
Self care is much easier when we are able to access the world in a ‘typical’ way (for a self-care for beginners checklist please see my previous Blog on Self Care at: www.catwrightsolutions.co.uk/blog ). It requires a little more thought during times such as these, where we have limited access to the outdoors, and our daily routines may be altered.
Most of us notice when our mobile phone battery runs low, and immediately move to do something to rectify the situation. Often, we don’t apply the same principles to ourselves.
Self-awareness is really important
Notice how you are feeling - some things may have a greater impact upon you than others, and sometimes it may not be clear to you why that is. That’s ok - just notice it, name it and accept it. It’s ok to not be ok. These feelings will pass. This will not last forever.
Think about the ways you have managed stress in the past, things that have helped you get through the tough times, and plan them in to your day. Of course you can try new things too, if you have the time to explore these, but some readers may be time-pressured.
Take regular rest breaks - even if that feels hard, when an opportunity for a break comes your way, make the most of it. Rest is an important word - and it does not always mean lie down and close your eyes, though, it might be that you find that it works for you. Rest is an opportunity to take a break from one activity or task and do something different, therefore offering the brain a rest or change. The best ‘rest’ breaks are those that happen in response to how you are feeling. For instance - if you know that you have a low mood, speaking to an old friend, or watching something on television that makes you laugh, will be a good choice (I have a feeling old episodes of Miranda will be well-viewed in this house!). Music is another excellent mood-lifter, consider downloading a playlist onto your phone, plug in and play (go on, dance if no one’s looking….and maybe even if they are, you might lift their mood too!). If you are tired, you may choose to have a short nap (in my much younger days, these may have been referred to as ‘disco-naps’- please don’t judge me!!!), a daydream, listen to a mindfulness app, read a book or perhaps some restful music.
The point being here, that the better you are at knowing yourself, and knowing what works for you, the better you will be able to match your need. Introverts may need time away from people after a busy shift, extroverts on the other hand may be struggling with the lack of interaction.
Be active - being active can help lift mood and also aid sleep, it can also offer the brain an opportunity for some ‘down-time’ focusing on something other than work or the news for instance. ‘Mind’ have some great ideas for getting active on their website - see the link below*. If you are able to safely access outside, then spend some time outside and be active, if you are not able to get out, there are plenty of online classes available free of charge at the moment, and if you only have a short period of time, I love the ideas that Dr Rangan Chatterjee has in his Feel Better in 5 book** - 5 minutes of a kitchen work out can be surprisingly beneficial, both to your mind and your body.
Connect with others - check in with friends, family and loved ones, and whilst this is likely to be remotely for many, explore new ways of having fun, playing games, listening to each other and laughing together. Gentle humour and laughing produces fabulous feel-good chemicals in the brain, which have a lasting effect after the phone or video call is over.
Exercise self-compassion and embrace uncertainty, first of all, stop putting yourself down, recognise what you are doing and be kind to yourself if there are times when you need to step back. Recognise and accept kindnesses that are offered to you. Be sure to notice what is going well and the role you have played in that, however big or small. Try to be curious about these unfamiliar times, and look for opportunities that it may present.
Unplug from technology for an hour - with connectivity being predominantly electronic now (social media, texts and emails), we spend less and less time interacting verbally with each other. In a busy house this can mean we don’t fully ‘unplug’ and our attention can be divided or withdrawn from the ‘present’. Unplugging for an hour each day - at the same time for all in the family if possible - is a good way to ensure you remain present and in the moment, which is how we invest in relationships, a key area of self-care. You could spend the time chatting or playing a game together.
Practice gratitude - take time to notice and reflect upon the things that you are thankful for. People who regularly practice gratitude experience more positive emotions, feel more alive…express more compassion and kindness and even have stronger immune systems.***
And perhaps the most important one of all:
Ask for help when you need it - remember it’s ok to not be ok.
There are many helplines available (see link below****), friends who are good listeners and then there are therapists, like me, who have moved their therapy rooms 'online' or will talk to you by phone (often with offers for NHS or emergency services), working together to navigate these unfamiliar times.
* https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/tips-for-everyday-living/physical-activity-and-your-mental-health/about-physical-activity/
** Dr Rangan Chaterjee - Feel Better in 5 ISBN 978-0-241-39780-0
*** Dr David Hamilton, PhD on why kindness is good for you https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WyX-kTTzM00
**** https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/stress-anxiety-depression/mental-health-helplines/
Images by www.nickchurchphotography.co.uk
